I think I’ve looked at the Brazen Racing Race website about 50 times in the last 6 months. I’ve run every course. I know which are flat and stroller friendly and which aren’t. And the last 50 times I fill in the registration page and then back out.
I’m too scared to see run the races. Waking up at 4am isn’t easy anymore… seeing as I am up most of the night. I have to bring the baby with me due to my boyfriends work schedule, and I worry about everything from weather, feeding times, potential illness from daycare, and so on. I’m also worried about having to drive at the very least an hour each way for each race. I can’t just get up and go like I used too. They have a remote racing option, but 1) it’s just not the same and 2) I’m not sure I want to pay 44.95 to run anywhere but the trails with Brazen. Long story short… I keep hoping to do races but they seriously just stress me out now. And it sucks.
HopefullyI will get over this fear I’m having a run a few races in 2018.
I also hope that by 2018, I will have a new circle of active Mom friends.
Making friends in your late 30s isn’t easy. I remember making friends in elementary school. It went something like this:
Me: “hey, do you want to be my best friend?”
Me: “yay! Let’s go play!”
I kid you not, I am still best friends with my 2nd grade best friend to this day. Alas, she now lives in Hawaii…and I, across the pacific in California.
Since moving 2 years ago, I feel like I’ve lost contact with most of my friends and family. Although I’m only an hour away, you’d think I’d moved to Canada, because very few are able to hang out these days.
Since becoming a mom I’ve tried to surround myself with other moms of babies my daughters age. Through groups and fitness groups. I have made friends with about 10 people, but we are still in that awkward stage of getting more comfortable with each other. Plus all the moms I’ve met are now starting to return to work.
Returning to work as a new Mom is the hardest thing to do.
So right now, all of us moms are hormonal, emotional, over worked, tired, wrecks. I’m sure it will smooth out in a few weeks… but until then, I’m just sitting here. Waiting for something cool to happen.
Have a great day!