Another week down…

Hello Everyone. I hope your Sunday was a good one.

Well, since I last posted – I’ve had an okay week. I made it to the gym on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and today. So much for attempting a full week! On Tuesday I worked late and just felt incredibly tired and unmotivated. Wednesdays workout was late at night, but I was happy to get it done. Truthfully, I told myself I could only partake in celebrating National Wine Day with a glass of wine, if I made it to the gym – is that bad?

Probably.

But it got me there, and I had a yummy glass of wine afterwards so I consider that a win/win.

On Thursday I worked overtime and didn’t even have dinner until 9pm…I was not about to try to make it to the gym after a long day like that! On Friday I made it to the gym during lunch, trying to smash in a good workout during the day so I could go out with friends that evening. I opted to do the stairs of death. I went slow, but stayed on them for 40 excruciating minutes. At 35 minutes my ankle/foot started to feel tired. At 40 minutes, I felt twinges of pain. :( Not good…

That evening my friends and I had dinner, and drinks…

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And then saw 50 Shades of Grey…yep total girls night out! Although I wasn’t too impressed with the movie, I had fun! And felt even better knowing that I had made it to the gym earlier that day and still had time for friends and fun. 

I was supposed to meet my cousin at the gym on Saturday, but when I woke up at 730am, I just didn’t have the motivation energy to go. my bed totally held me hostage.  Plus my ankle was still hurting so, I was actually too scared to go. Instead I worked more overtime and then ran a few errands. One of which was getting this nifty wine rack from Cost Plus!

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My wine bottles were all over the place, and now I have a nice spot to store them properly! I love it! I feel so fancy now.

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This morning I slept in, which is always a nice treat, then made it to the gym around 930 am. I love Sunday mornings because the gym is pretty much empty! It’s so awesome! What isn’t awesome is that I still felt pain in my foot. So, I opted to do 45 minutes on the stationary bike. It was pretty much complete torture…sitting on that bike is so uncomfortable! But, at least I got to do something – and without putting too much stress on my foot. I also did upper body weights.

When I got home, it was apparent that I needed to clean house…

And right away.

That turned into almost 6 hours of cleaning, dusting, washing, sweeping, vacuuming, and everything else! I feel like I’m constantly cleaning these days, but today I really went to town. I finally hung my Brazen Streaker Frame during my cleaning extravaganza! Ya…the one I received on 12/27/14. Talk about being a slacker!

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After a quick trip to the grocery store, I spent my evening preparing for tomorrow’s dinner. I’m making homemade lasagna from scratch, and the sauce takes over an hour to make. So in order to cut down on total prep time tomorrow – I got busy in the kitchen tonight!

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Don’t you wish blogs where scratch and sniff?

I’m not too sure how tomorrows weigh in will go. I was far less active this week, but still managed to stay within my daily goals when it came to food.

As for my foot, on Thursday I was casted for my custom orthodics.

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Which should arrive in 4 weeks. I’m obviously going to have to take it easy again and probably stick with the bike until the pain goes down. I may even have to wear the boot again if the pain doesn’t subside within the next day or two. This really has been the injury from hell! :/

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Love and other things.

Hello Lovelys. How is everyone doing during this three day weekend? The same weekend that included Friday the 13, followed by love and hearts on the 14th? Ironic, no?
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Well, since I last updated the Ol’ blog, I’ve actually had a progressive week! I stuck to my guns and focused hard on my food. I stayed within my daily goal, and kept my choices in line with a healthy and gluten free diet. I also made it to the gym everyday, with the exception of Wednesday and Friday. (I planned the break on Wednesday, and overbooked myself on Friday – but still think it was okay to have 2 rest days.)
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I’ve been sticking to the same plan for the most part while at the gym, which is basically a variation of the doctor approved exercises. I started every workout with a slow warm up on the stairs of death. While stairi-ing away. I alterned between high knee raises/back kicks/twisting high knees with each step for one minute each for 10 minutes, then increasing the speed for 5 minutes just a bit so that I can get my heart up, and sweat flowing. Once done with that, I’d do 35 minutes on the elliptical, set on the random course/level 5 (this week). After that, I go to the stationery bike and do 15 minutes on “random.” Between the bike and the elliptical, I’m doing a 10k (plus some) a day…and although it’s not running, it makes me feel like I’m doing something good. Add the stairs in, and I’m definitely a sweaty mess by the end of my workout!
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Every day, except Sunday, I hit the weights alternating between upper and lower body each day. Lower body weights are still very limited, so on those days I typically add in some core exercises.

I’ve also weighed myself every other day, I find that it helps motivate me. I know that the scale is just a number, and doesn’t accurately reflect my progress…but damn if I don’t feel better when the number goes down.

Some of the nights I didn’t get TO the gym till 10pm…I was tired and honestly not feeling it…but I powered through!

Today was my official weigh in day per my plan, and I’m happy to report that I lost 4.8 lbs!

My OCD was really hoping for an even 5, but still – I’m happy. I know this won’t happen every week. It is characterisric of this plan to drop a higher amount of weight the first week, and then 1-2 lbs the following weeks.

I’m not gonna lie…even with this week’s success, I still struggle daily. It takes so much time, thought and effort. So, I’m just going to take it one day…and meal at a time.

I realized this last week how much I took things for granted before. Before my injury, I was in such a routine that going to the gym or for a run, didn’t really seem all that hard. It was just a part of my day. I also need to add, my injury first occurred in late July. This was only a short time after “making it official” with my boyfriend So, I admitedly had a lot more “me time.”
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This last week, I REALLY had to make time for myself and the gym. Even if that meant not getting to the gym until 10pm. Or leaving my boyfriend during “our time” to hit the gym for a little while. Which actually really sucks because our time is already limited due to conflicting work schedules.

My dedication even showed on Valentine’s Day. I left his warm bed, and arms….to go to the gym and sweat like crazy. The entire time I hated it!!!! Cursing myself for leaving, and missing him. But after my workout, I went home and started to get ready for my Valentines day dinner date. When I put on my form fitting dress, and it actually looked decent…I didn’t regret it anymore!

I haven’t had a Valentine’s day date in a very long time, so I actually felt a little nervous. As silly as that may seem.

We went to dinner at a very nice steak house. The food was very good, and I enjoyed it. Afterwards we went home and watched movies and laughed and had fun. It was a great day.
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Well, here’s to another week!

Weekend food fail.

It’s Sunday morning. And it’s raining. 

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Sunday’s are my favorite days, as stated many times in this blog. Rain is also one of my favorite things, and we really need it here in California.

Hangovers, however…are not on my list of favorites…and here I am paying the price on a rainy Sunday morning.

The last few weeks I have really struggled with my old habits of eating too much of all the wrong things. I had one successful week at the gym, quickly followed by a week of complete inactivity and a high consumption of junk food and lots of alcohol.

I think I know what happened this week…I let all of my insecurities outweigh my mental strength, and I just traveled down a familiar, yet terrible path.

Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of my divorce. Don’t get me wrong – my decision to file for divorce and finally set myself free from the chaos that was my marriage, was the best thing I could have ever done. I call February 7th my personal Independence Day. I literally celebrate it….and have for the last 5 years.

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Except, I usually celebrate it with a run. A good run, or race to just make myself remember my strength…because in running that is when you feel your mental and physical power.  It’s exhilarating, freeing, amazing and exhausting all at the same time.

Well…no run this year. And this year, even though I am now in a relationship with someone I am completely in love with and adore – I struggled big time on my Independence Day.

Feelings of failure, defeat, and bits of anger surfaced once again. I didn’t want to be alone, and since the man I wanted to be with is away for training for work – I ended up going out with a group of friends for the day.

I had a lot of fun. We laughed, the company is a great group of people, we enjoyed the overcast day out in a city I never go to, so it felt like a whole new place.

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I ate tons of food. And all the food I’m not supposed to eat – not just because it was all high calorie, carby, serves-no-purpose-other-than-adding-to-my-waist-size, kind of foods – but because once again I chose to eat foods my body just cannot handle.

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And we drank. And drank. And drank some more…
By the end of the night, I was passed out on my friends living room floor. Jack Daniels and Fireball Whiskey happily put me there. 

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Today I feel like shit.

Everything hurts. A hangover at 34 is not like the hangover at 21. Every joint in my body is screaming at me. My head feels like someone bashed it in with a cinder block. I’m tired, dehydrated beyond belief, and I feel like all my food from yesterday is planning it’s escape route…

I feel the immediate effects of the gluteny foods I shoved into my face as well. It’s not pretty at all.

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Unfortunately, every week for the last month and a half, I tell myself that this will be the week that I cut back on overtime at work, that I will eat healthy foods, and get back on a gym schedule that is worthy of being called “a schedule.”

And every week, I end up working more hours, buying and eating the wrong foods, and allow my gym membership to go unused. All the while, knowing that I am making the wrong decisions.

Five years ago I brought in my divorce with a “re-bachlorette party.” I partied hard the night of the 6th, waiting to ring in my personal New Year/New Me at the stroke of midnight that brought the highly anticipated date of 2/7/2010. I woke up extremely hungover then…and asked myself aloud – “Now what?

And…ironically, I find myself asking that same question today.

Now what?!

Now, I need a new plan. Anew goal. And I think, I need to find some direction on a few key areas of my life.

But for right now, at this very moment…I’m forcing myself out the door to hit the gym.

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Going to the doctors…

Today I had to go to an appointment to see my Podiatrist. I was feeling a bit apprhensive because when we last spoke, today may have been the day I would be casted, if need be.

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After last week and my successful gym sessions, I kind of thought a cast was unlikely…but one never knows.

This week has been busy, and I haven’t been to the gym since Sunday.

Insert loads of shame here: ______. I had intentions to go, but I let my over-filled schedule get the best of me. To sum it up, I pretty much sacrificed my gym time for other…non-gym-things this week.

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Like food...

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And alcoholic beverages.

I “justified” the missed days by telling myself that I’d be seeing the doctor today, and filling him in – so I was waiting to see if I was doing the right, or wrong thing.

On top of that, I haven’t been feeling too well this week…like at all. :( I think it was a combo of the sudden activities and sweating out my toxins – as well as being back at the gym and exposed to people…and their grossness germs.

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You can also read all that as : I got hella lazy.

Anyways. Back to the point of this post….

I went through a series of tests with the doctor. Pain tests, strength tests, standing, lifting, moving tests. I told him absolutely everything I did last week.

And then he said, “Well it seems that things are improving. I think we can take the boot off for the next month and see how things go.”

Uhm…excuse me…what?!?

No boot!?!?

I seriously couldn’t hide my enthusiasm.

I still have a lot of restrictions, and I have to be careful and vigilant. I have to go by pain levels and such, but for the first time in 14+ weeks…I can wear normal, matching shoes!

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And it feels awesome…and admittedly, a little awkward. I’m so used to having my left foot immobilized!

I’m supposed to be heading to the gym now. But it’s almost 9pm and I am not feeling well at all. :(

Bed might be the only place I go.

Late Night Decisions!

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That pretty much sums up this blog post.

Have a great day!

Just kidding! Sort of.

So, after my Sunday gym torture session, I’ve managed to keep my personal goal as of yet – and made it to the gym again!

My plan was to go at least 3 days, but more, if I had the time – and more importantly, if my foot felt okay.

Like Sunday, on Monday I bicycled my way to a sweaty mess. Although it seemed less horrible and I was able to increase the resistance to a level 7 (from Sundays 4-5.) Then I went into the little circuit room and did some weights.

On Tuesday, I decided to try the elliptical. My Dr had mentioned it would be okay, but only if I felt no pain. So, because sitting on the bicycle after sitting for hours on end at work seemed like a death sentence, I decided to give it a go. I told myself that if I felt ANY sign of pain, I’d stop and head back to the sitbicycle. 

I’m happy to report that I did not experience any pain, other than my lungs falling out and a possible heart attack.

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Ugh. So out of shape now!

I finished again, with weights.

By the third day I noticed a dramatic difference on how I felt overall. I felt better, had more energy and could feel a difference in my aerobic capabilities from just a few short days ago. Things were looking up!

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Post gym redness.

Wednesday was my planned rest day. I felt it best to give my foot a break, especially after trying something new the day before. To my “surprise” my foot felt totally fine the next day. No new soreness, no swelling, and best yet – no (new or increased) pain.

I’m certain my foot is finally healing because the swelling is almost non existent (that may be in part to the amount of Motrin I’m consuming – doctors orders) and I’m finally able to stand/walk without pain. (This is both in the boot, and not. But, side note: I’m still wearing the boot all the damn time. Another side note, the boot doesn’t fit on the bike peddle, so I change into shoes at the gym and then peddle away.) There is still some noticeable pain if I press on the area of the tear, and also if I move my foot in certain ways. But this is a dramatic improvement from before. I am hopeful
Que in yesterday…

Oh man was I hungry yesterday. It was the kind of day, where everything reminded me of food. I imagined food all day….okay let’s be honest – I fantasized about food all day.

I also worked 12 hours and unlike the previous days where I hit the gym during lunch, I wasn’t able to go till after work. After working a 12+ hour day, my brain doesn’t want to go to the gym. It wants to sit on the couch and eat dinner…then go to bed.

But, somehow my house was a disaster. I mean it was just a mess!! I realized this week had been busy and I hadn’t had time to keep up on my daily chores. So after work yesterday, I spent 2 hours vacuuming, mopping, dusting, folding laundry (and putting it away!), doing dishes and sanitizing everything. Clorox wipes are my favorite. I have a tiny house, so 2 hours may not seem like a lot, but it is in comparison to the actual space I need to tidy up.

By the time I was done, I was even more exhausted. It was almost 830pm and I was hungrier! Yes that’s a word.

All the more reason to make myself go to the gym.

Except it was packed!!! Ugh. Hate that. But I still managed to find an elliptical, because more sitting would drive me nuts. And sweated my way through 45 minutes of heart pumping, asthma inducing, sweat dripping, fun.

:/

It was so hard!!! My face was so red afterwards, that I looked like I was going to explode. I got a few double takes from other gym goers. I probably scared them.

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I didn’t do any weights, I just came home to shower and finally go to bed.

The good news is, after my gym session, all my food fantasies stopped. Probably because I felt like dying barfing – but hey…whatever stops the binge cycle.

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A Fat Dose of Reality

Well hello old friends, it’s me – Jamie.

Do you remember me? I know, it’s been a while and my posts are very infrequent now. I’m sorry, I really should post more. It’s hard though because I’m not running. I’m not doing much of anything! Except for maybe some of my old (and very bad habits) of over eating and being exceptionally lazy.
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I’m sure by now, you all knows that I cannot run at this time. But what you might not know is that it’s because of a torn tendon. It’s actually torn in 2 places.

Yay me…NOT.

Unfortunately, it will probably be 6 months to a year before I can (hopefully) even think about trying to run again. Tendons take forever to heal…and I, personally,  think that’s hella lame. Running literally saved me – so it’s safe to say that I feel completely lost without it!!! It’s absence in my life has certainly taken it’s toll. I’ve succumbed to my old ways of coping with lifes stressors – with food. Deliciously, horrible, food. I’m gluten intolerant, and eating gluten makes me feel terrible…and yet I’ve been eating gluten filled foods like it’s going out of style. I feel absolutely miserable! And still, I eat, eat, eat.

#FAIL.

I joined weight watchers in December in a moment of clarity, realizing I was headed down a very dangerous slope. The good news is, I’m totally tracking my food. The bad news is, I keep going over my daily points and just watch as I eat everything in sight and the point totals rise like the blood pressure of an angry person.
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I don’t think that’s how this is supposed to work. Oopsies.
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After consuming an ungodly amount of calories this weekend and waking up feeling like complete shit (sorry, no other word to describe the food binge hangover I experienced) I laid in bed and the internal argument began.

To gym, or not to gym.
That was the question.

It took 4 hours of distracting/arguing with myself this morning, but after a bit of motivation from an unlikely source –  I made it out the door to do Dr. approved activities.

You know – all the non-running things that ARE NOT FUN to a runner. Don’t get me wrong, I cross trained before – but always had the reward of 3-5 miles to look forward to. Also, my previous cross training activities were way more exciting, I never opted for the stationery bike….because I hate it.

Let’s be real here – Sitting on my ass on a bike after sitting at work for 10-12 hours a day is excruciating torture!

But right now, it’s either the bike or swimming  – and I did not feel like swimming at all. Just putting on a swimsuit and all the prep it takes to get into the pool seemed completely exhausting. Ideally I’d like to try spin classes but even that is not allowed at this time…alas, hopefully in the future.

Well. Let me tell you…

It was a huge slap in the face, and a fat dose of reality!!! Although I’ve been casted/booted for 3 months, my inactivity is mostly based on the fact that I just didn’t do what little I am allowed to do, because I was (and am) mad at the whole situation.

I hopped on the dreaded stationary bike with a smug attitude, that was quickly reduced to shame. For 45 murderous minutes, I struggled peddled my way to pure exhaustion.

Pre-injury, I could do level 10 on the bike for 30 minutes and hardly break a sweat.  It felt like I was doing nothing, which is another reason I hated the bike so much, it felt pointless. If I’m not dripping sweat I don’t feel like I’m doing enough to call it a workout. My heart rate stayed around 100, which for most runners might be high – but for me it’s not, at all.

Today was a completely different story. Massive amounts of sweat poured out of me. I was quickly reminded that I’m asthmatic. I struggled at level 5 and 6, and never made it passed that. Level 10 seemed like a far away land only talked about in children’s stories, and not something I could actually ever achieve.

I effin hated life.

Everything hurt.

My heart rate was 170-176. Uhm…did I almost die?

Probably.

All that for…

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

340 measly calories!!!

WTF.

That’s not comparable to running calories burned in 45 minutes. Like at all. 

And, when you eat poorly…that’s nothing!!! I had 8 pieces of licorice yesterday totalling 280 calories. I barely burned that off in 45 minutes. Pretty sad considering it took me about 10 seconds to “savor” all 8 pieces that shoved into my face.

Crap. 

I’m not gonna lie.

It pissed me the f**k off.

And tomorrow, I’m pretty certain I’m  going to argue with myself for 4 hours to be active again, because it was beyond annoying. And it hurt…a lot. I said that right?!
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It’s going to take everything I have to put the junk food and/or alcohol down… Because eating and drinking isn’t as miserable as my workout felt today.
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(That’s a lie. A complete and utter lie. I feel miserable seconds after binging on food and alcohol…MISERABLE AND GUILTY.)

But I have done this whole journey before and…

I will do it again.

Because I’m worth all the effort it takes, and I’d rather be healthy, than what I am right now.

[Injured] Beast Mode = ON.  

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That...would be sweat.

Brazen New Years Day

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I spent New Years Eve with my boyfriend, yes I totally made it a point to stay up till midnight so that I could get my New Years Eve kiss. :) We had a quiet night at home, watching the ball drop and enjoying adult beverages and each other. It was great! What wasn’t so great was staying up till 3am, only to wake up at 5am to head out to Lake Chabot for the Brazen New Years Day race. I was volunteering because I received the results of my MRI just a few days before.

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It’s never good when you walk out of the MRI office and your doctor calls you within the hour…

I have 2 tears and tenosynivitis (I think I spelt that right) in my tibialis tendon. Along with a flat foot. Right now the doctor wants to try the conservative method of casting with no weight bearing what so ever for 4 weeks. Seriously…I have no time or patience for crutches. This is going to be difficult. :( I will basically be casted/booted/and splinted in a 12 week time frame. I’m hoping that works, because if not – surgery is the next option. And the recovery time on that is 6 months to one year! This is because they are not only fixing a torn tendon, but also the half foot issue that I have which means hardware and possibly bone fusion.

Lame.

Anyways, back to the race… the morning was quiet. I was at the main tent entering late race entries and such.

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I have green on...

Then I had to try and keep track of the first through tenth place runners for each of the 3 distances as they ran in. That was not easy, and a little (or a lot!) stressful….especially for someone in a boot.

Once that was done, my sister and I left. We didn’t stick around, which is kind of a first.

I felt kind of sad at the race, for a few reasons. It’s the last Brazen Race I was officially registered for – and I don’t know how long it will be until I will register again. Even worse…there’s the thought that I won’t be able to run anymore. (If I have the surgery, I will not be able to run anymore at all.) 

Also for the first time in forever…for some reason, that day I just felt like an outsider. I’m not sure what it was. I was wearing my brand new streaker shirt, and helping, and talking with friends…but something just felt off. We did take a brazen group photo though. So that was nice.

Hopefully sooner than later I will be back and running again, and not feel so much like an outcast.

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Happy 2015 everyone!

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True Story.

Streaking at Brazen’s Almost New Years Eve

Well, it’s almost the end of 2014. This year has been very different from any other in many ways. The biggest is that at the beginning of 2014 I set out to become an official Brazen Streaker. What does that mean? It means that I chose (key word there) to participate in EVERY race Brazen Racing puts on.

Sam and Jasmin, Brazen’s founders and race directors told all the potential streakers not to do this. Warning that it could strain relationships, and make your life “miserable.” But we (my sister and I) weren’t scared! We were up to the challenge.

And what a challenge it was! Brazen even surprised us with 2 new races, bringing the total to 26 races in 2014 – the highest amount to date. One of which just happened to be The Double Dipsea…the hardest half marathon I have done in my life- and yet the most beautiful as well.

Brazen’s streaker rules state that you have to be physically present at every race. So, if you’re a volunteer waking up at 3am on race day to go and make sure that the course, food, and everything else is ready for the runners to run – it counts towards the streak.

I set off hoping to run every race. I dutifully registered, ranging in distance from the either a 5k, 10k and a half.

I trained.

I planned my life around my training and race schedule. (That included dating! My Boyfriend has been very supportive too, thank goodness!)

I ran…

and I ran…

and I ran.

I seriously loved every race. I looked forward to seeing the familiar faces and the smell of trails and sunshine (And rain!) All was going well and the streak was so close to being mine!

And then July happened. :/

I ran the Bad Bass 10k on that Saturday (with no issues!) and on Sunday my foot looked something similar to  this…

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I went to the doctor, but was told it was probably just a bit of a strain. I stayed off of it for 2 weeks like they told me too, but not much more than that because I had races to run. (and not running is complete blasphemy!) Except my foot didn’t feel any better after two weeks of rest. Nope, it still hurt. So I went to the doctor again… And was told the same thing. When it still wasn’t healing, I went back a third time, this time switching docors. This turned into physical therapy, which didn’t help. And finally (FINALLY) a referral to my podiatrist.
It is now the end of December, and I have an MRI scheduled for tomorrow because my foot is still not any better. Despite the fact that its been immobilized in a walking boot, and a cast, and now a boot again for 9 weeks.
Tomorrow, we will be looking for tears, fractures, or anything that can explain the constant pain and swelling…and cause of the posterior tibialis tendon dysfunction that is causing my arch to collapse to the floor.

Anyway…due to this I did have to back out of 3 Brazen Races: Nitro Turkey, Quarry Turkey and Summit Rock. I was in a cast and could not even try to walk them…even though I did try to plan a way to do so. Instead, I volunteered those three race days and helped with merchandise, food, and registration.

On Saturday 12/27/2014 I woke up early and headed to Lake Chabot, my favorite park, for the last Brazen race of the year.

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It was freezing cold, with frost and sunshine. It was an emotional morning…putting on my race clothes felt a little bit foreign, but comforting at the same time.

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We got to the park and picked up our race bibs. And there it was…my official streaker number. The bib that shows my accomplishment for the rest of my life! We also had a little ceremony where were presented with our streaker shirts, medal frames, and hugs.

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Walking to get my hug!

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Starker shadow box

After all of that we watched and cheered for the other distances as they set off and then waited for the 5k to start.

Yep. I needed to finish out this year. I walked the race with my walking boot. It was slow, and (mentally) hard….but I was thankful to have my sister and my friend with me the entire way. We talked about life, we reminisced about the year, and contemplated 2015.

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We took Sam’s advice and enjoyed the course and all it had to offer.

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And then we crossed the finish line together, arm in arm – as one. All three of us, streakers!

The feeling was surreal. And I was just beyond ecstatic that my goal, even with such an injury, was still accomplished.

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#93 is all mine!

More than anything I would have preferred to run every race. And even a few on my Facebook criticized me and said that I wasn’t a streaker because I didn’t run all the races. But I did follow the rules, and I was there (in a cast!!!!) Volunteering taught me a few lessons, and also allowed me to see a different side of race day. And believe me…if I could have walked the races I would have. But there comes a time when you have too look at you’re future and not just that moment. I did what was best. 

I still feel that this achievement was fairly earned. And I will treasure it forever.

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Especially since never running again is a legitimate chance in my prognosis after the MRI. (Prayers that that is not the case though, please!)

Thank you Brazen for absolutely everything this year. The races, the trails, the new friends, the awesome medals, gummy bears at the aid stations, it’s-it’s at the end, and most of all for the lessons I have learned and the family I have become a part of…the Brazen Family.

To the rest of you, I wish you the very best in running, life, and health in 2015.

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Losing weight, and casts.

Good morning everyone. It’s actually slightly after 3am…but I can’t sleep, so blogging sounded like a good idea.

On Tuesday I went to the doctor and they cut off my cast.

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Then the doctor examined my foot… It’s actually gotten worse and not better, so I now have an MRI set for 12/30. Hopefully that will finally provide some answers. I’m now back in the walking boot, but have orders to stay off my foot as much as possible. I’m thankful I don’t have another cast on…that thing was beyond annoying, and totally inconvenient.

In the mean time, I’ve been plugging along with my weight loss efforts, and although it’s moving much slower (due to no exercise,) it is moving in the right direction. So far I’m down slightly over 8 lbs in 3 weeks. It really has been an adjustment when it comes to food. The realization of how out of control my portion sizes were, and how poorly I was eating has been a lot to take in.

But, it’s a good thing.

That’s all I have for you for now…

Have a great day. :)

Since I’m not running…I’m gaining weight.

Have I told any of you how much I really miss running?

I miss it a lot.

I imagine myself running along during a cold fall morning. Listening only to the familiar silence of my favorite trail. The rhythm of my breath and the sound of my shoes hitting the dirt.

The cold air pushing through my lungs, the heat of my body pushing it’s way out from under all of my layers.

The smell of wet dirt, and trees surrounding me.

That feeling of every worry, thought, and daily pressure wafting away with every mile.

I crave running.

And yet…there’s nothing I can do. Except for looking down at my cast…and cursing it!

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Boo.

Blah. It hasn’t been fun…even showers are a pain with this thing! I know it’s only temporary, but right now it feels like it’s been on FOREVER.

In the mean time, I’ve been pretty lazy. It makes me realize how I took my previous days for granted! Also, I’ve kind of lost track when it comes to eating. I pretty much just ate, drank and whatever else without any thought. Why? Because that was comfortable. I mean who doesn’t want to drink wine and carry on with their friends and loved ones – without counting the calories or worrying how many burpees would be needed to undo said damage?!
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Well it’s all catching up with me. My weight is creeping up daily, and I honestly don’t feel to well. I’m tired and puffy. Slow and achy.

The worst is when I put on a pair of jeans that just a few weeks ago were loose…now they’re tight and causing the infamous muffin top. Gross.

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Me...

On Monday my doctor told me that he wanted me to stop all weight bearing and to use crutches. This was even more frustrating. With the realization that any form of exercise would now be even more difficult, I decided I needed to do something.

I am a firm believer that weight management is an 80/20 ratio. 80% is food and 20% is exercise. I can (and literally have) work out every day, all day and still gain weight because my food is all wrong. I can also (and have!) Not work out at all, and lose weight just by the food I eat.

Now of course when things are normal, I do both. That way I’m not only at a healthy weight, but I’m also fit.
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I’ve tried many things in order to eat properly, and for some reason the only thing that seems to work for me is Weight Watchers. I am the kind of person that needs structure and also something that is easy and that makes sense to me. And WW is exactly that. So. After Mondays news, I signed up.

It’s kind of funny when you start tracking your food intake again. Measuring makes a huge difference, because my memory of what portion sizes are supposed to be – is apparently way off.

Also, I’ve realized how much junk food I was eating before…and how much I missed eating it this week. (Read that as – withdrawals!)

This week was actually a lot harder than what it was a year and a half ago when I was on the program. A few things are different. One, as already stated – is that I’m not as active as I was at that time.  When I’m active, I automatically eat better. I don’t feel the need to eat bad foods. Two, I was single back then. Everyone knows it’s a little harder to stick to your guns when you’re in a relationship. Going out to eat, or having drinks adds up quickly.

But, I still made it through the week. Tomorrow is my weigh in day, and although I’m not expecting a huge initial loss – anything is better than going up.